Not Safe
by lindsay77
Summary: My take on "What's Wrong with Sam?" 3 part series. WARNING: PART 3 HAS SMUT!
1. Chapter 1

Hey all! So this is a oneshot series that I wrote for the TH September challenge. I started writing this before we found out what was really wrong with Sam so this is my own spin on what it is. I hope you all enjoy it!

* * *

Sam gently laid Scout back down in her crib. It took her a little while longer to get her down this time. She had read in one of her pregnancy books that babies could sense when something was wrong. Maybe that's what was the matter, Scout could sense that her mommy wasn't ok. Sam brushed her finger tip over her cubby cheek and smiled. Sam was completely exhausted. The hallucinations were becoming more frequent and increasingly disturbing. They were now plaguing her in her sleep. But looking down at the beautiful face of her daughter, Sam couldn't help but still feel so blessed that her baby was here when she could have easily lost her.

Sam pulled the baby blanket up over Scout and quietly left the room. She walked past the boy's room and for the first time ever, was thankful they weren't there. Jake was with his mom this week and Danny was still at his sleep away camp for the next 3 weeks. She missed her baby like crazy but knew it was a good thing he wasn't here. With things the way they were with Jason and her right now, it was bad enough Scout sensed the tension. She didn't need Danny noticing it as well.

Sam felt her phone buzz in her pocket and pulled it out. It was a text from Jason.

Be home tomorrow.

She felt a pain slice through her heart. That's all he had to say? She knew things weren't great between the right now but 3 words was all he had for her? She shook her head and put the phone back in her pocket, not bothering to reply to him. She wiped the single tear that fell from her eye away. She probably shouldn't have been that shocked. When he left last night to go and tell Sonny and Carly about the danger they were supposedly in, Sam hadn't been real supportive.

***FB***

"There is no one else that can go?" Sam asked him as he pulled down his gun safe. "Max or one of the other guards can't go? Or why not just phone them? Why…?"

"Sam, stop!" he yelled.

Sam jerked back as if he had struck her. "Carly and Sonny are in serious danger. This guy is no joke. They are going to need my help, not just my warning. You know what they mean to me. If you can't understand why I need to go, then you don't understand me like I always though you did." Jason said. He zipped up his duffle bag after he put his gun in and walked out the door, slamming it behind him. No goodbye, no nothing.

Sam stood there frozen. She couldn't believe what he had just said to her. She had always known what Carly and Sonny meant to him and she never once stood in the way of that. But they had a family now. He had a wife and kids. Why couldn't they mean something to him too?

***End FB***

Sam shook herself from the disturbing memory. She wiped the tears that fell away. She didn't know how they got here. They were so happy after Scout's birth. Even though it was dramatic, it was wonderful to be a family. And now it was all falling apart. Sam walked down the stairs and felt a dizzy spell coming one. She stopped and held on to the wall. These were happening more often also. She was getting them a few times a week now. She felt it start to subside and took a deep breath. She really needed to get some rest. But with an absentee husband and a mother who would rather spend time with her abusive ex than help out her daughter, Sam was on her own to take care of Scout. She continued down the stairs but as she reached the landing, everything started to blur. She reached out to grab something to steady her but it was no use. Her legs gave out and she went tumbling down the stairs, hitting her head hard on the wood floor. Her last thought was of her baby upstairs all alone before everything went black.

* * *

Lucas and Brad climbed off the elevator and walked to his sister's door. "They aren't allergic to kiwi, are they?" Brad asked his husband.

Lucas chuckled and looked at him with the pie in his hand. They had decided to stop by to see the baby tonight and Brad had been in a baking faze lately. "No, babe, they aren't allergic to kiwi." He shook his head and raised his hand to knock. "Do you hear that?" Brad asked. Lucas listened for a second and heard the faint cry. "Huh, Miss Scout must not be too happy. She clearly misses uncle Lucas." He said, knocking on the door.

"If she misses anyone it's me. She loves me way more than you." Brad needled him. They waited for a second and heard the crying go on but no one came to the door. "You think she's up with Scout? Maybe she can't hear us." Brad wondered. Lucas reached for the door knob and turned it. "It's open." He said. He pushed the door open and called out "Hello? Sam? Jason? Are you…?" he stopped dead when he saw her.

"Call 911!" he yelled to Brad. Lucas raced to his sister's side and immediately felt for her pulse. "She's alive." He felt relief wash over him. "Jason!" he yelled but heard no noise in the apartment other than his niece's cry.

"They're on their way." Brad said in a frantic tone.

"Go check on the baby. I don't think Jason is here." Lucas told him. Brad took the stairs two at a time to go and get Scout.

"Sam?" Lucas leaned down to her. "Sam, can you hear me? Come one, honey, wake up." he sat down by her side for he didn't know how long before he heard the EMT's come in.

They asked a bunch of questions that he could only answer half of. He didn't know what had happened but he would like to know where the hell her husband was and why he wasn't with his wife. After making sure Brad stayed with Scout, Lucas rode in the ambulance with Sam to the hospital. When they got there, they took her back and didn't allow him in. But he trusted Griffin. He was a great doctor and Lucas knew he would take care of Sam. While he waited Lucas called Jason, Alexis and Sam's sisters. Neither Jason nor Alexis answered but Kristina and Molly did. He left messages for Jason and Alexis. Kristina was heading to the hospital and Molly was going to go pick up Scout from Brad. While Lucas sat and waited he found his anger growing. At Jason. At Alexis. And at himself. The last time he had seen Sam was two weeks ago. He had been pulling double shifts since it was summer and the hospital was really busy. But when he had seen her two weeks ago, she 1ooked so tired. She tried to hide it but he knew that she was exhausted. She said it was a temporary thing but he should have done something. He should have made sure. But he figured that with Jason there to help, she would be able to get the rest she needed. Clearly that wasn't the case.

"Lucas" he heard. He looked up and saw Griffin standing in front of him. He stood to his feet and asked "How is she? Is she ok?"

"She will be. She sprained her wrist and has a few bruised ribs. She also has a concussion from hitting her head. Physically, she should be fine in a couple of weeks." Griffin said.

Lucas narrowed his eyes "What do you mean physically?"

Griffin sighed and said "About a month ago, I ran into Sam here at the hospital. She didn't look too good and I offered to look her over. She was really tired and was in and out when we were talking. She was showing signs of having PTSD but when I brought it up, she completely rebuffed it. And she wouldn't let me do any further testing. We drew some blood just to make sure it couldn't be any kind of infection. But I think your sister is in serious denial about what is really wrong with her. And if she doesn't get help, it is going to get much worse."

Lucas couldn't believe what he was hearing. Sam had PTSD? After everything that she had been through in the last few years, it made sense that it would all be too much. He couldn't believe he didn't see the signs. He couldn't believe that Jason didn't. He lived with her and he couldn't see that something was off?

"She is awake right now but she needs to rest. I am going to go and drop off her blood at the lab and then I will be back to give her something to help her sleep." He told him. Lucas moved around him and made his way to her cubical. He walked through the curtain and looked at his sister laying there. Sam had a bandage on her head from where she fell. The circles under her eyes were darker than he had ever seen. And for the first time she saw just how thin she was. She looked even thinner that she saw before she got pregnant with Scout.

He swallowed past the lump in his throat and walked over to sit beside her. He picked up her hand and held it between his. She looked up at him and asked "Where is Scout?"

"Molly is on her way to get her. Brad stayed at the penthouse while I came to the hospital with you. She's fine." She nodded her head. "Why didn't you tell anyone about this, Sam?"

She shook her head "I was hoping it would go away. I was hoping that if I could just get one good night's rest that it would all be fine but even in my sleep they haunt me."

"What haunts you?" he asked.

Sam looked up at her little brother's worried face. The last thing she wanted to do was worry him. "It's nothing…"

"No, Sam stop! This isn't nothing. Finding you at the bottom of your stairs in a pool of blood isn't nothing. Looking like you haven't slept in months is not nothing. Now please tell me what is wrong." He asked desperately.

Sam closed her eyes and let the tears fall "I don't know. I don't know wat is wrong with me. At first, I thought it was a flu bug but then I started hearing voices and having these strange hallucinations. I can't sleep because I can't seem to turn my brain off and Scout, as amazing as she is and how much I love her, she's a lot to handle by myself." She vented.

Lucas shook his head "What about Jason?"

Sam laughed humorlessly and said "Jason? He's too busy helping everyone else. He's down at Sonny's island right now because of some threat he needed to warn him and Carly about. I can't seem to keep him at home for more than 5 minutes to even try and help me. And don't even ask about my mom. Last time I saw her she was having coffee with Julian at Kelley's. She's forgiven him for everything apparently and is now only focused on him." she wiped her cheeks of the salty water falling from her eyes.

Lucas was completely furious. How could the two of them desert her this way? There was no way they couldn't have seen the state Sam was in. He took a deep breath and calmed himself down. The last thing Sam needed was more stress. And her health was more important than those two right now anyway.

He squeezed her hand in his and spoke "I know that you don't want to hear this but as your brother and a doctor you need to listen to me. Everything you just described that is wrong with you, they are all sings of you having PTSD"

"Lucas…" she started to say but he cut her off "No, you are going to listen to me. This is not just about you, this is about your kids. You cannot keep going on like this." He took a deep breath and said "When I found you at the bottom of those stairs, I didn't know if you were alive or dead. What would have happened to Scout if Brad and I hadn't come by tonight? We could hear her balling when we walked up to the door." he said.

Sam closed her eyes and tried to shut out the pain of her baby girl all alone. "You are only going to get worse if you don't get help. And there is nothing wrong with needing help, Sam. After everything you have been through, it's a miracle you have made it this far without breaking. So please, for the sake of everyone that loves you, please get the help you need." He begged her.

Sam put her face in her hands and broke down. She shouldn't have let it get this far. She should have demanded Jason take care of his child too. She should have asked for help. She felt Lucas sit beside her and carefully pull her into his arms as she sobbed.

* * *

Jason kept the button for the 9th floor pressed so the elevator wouldn't stop. When he got the message from Lucas that Sam was in the hospital, he, Carly and Sonny got on the private jet and came home. He closed his eyes, wishing like hell he hadn't turned his phone off. He hadn't got the message until close to midnight and it took a while form them to gas up the plane. It was 7:30 before they landed. He asked Carly and Sonny to figure out where Scout was so he could head to the hospital. He had tried calling Lucas back but he wasn't picking up. And when he called the hospital they said that they were under strict orders not to allow phone calls to Sam's room because she needed her rest.

The doors opened and Jason shot off the elevator. He headed for the nurse's desk to find out his wife's room number but caught sight of Alexis and Julian talking to Lucas. And Lucas looked pissed. He walked over and heard the tail end of the conversation "… care who you are, you're not getting near my sister. You are part of the reason she's in here."

"Where is Sam?" he asked as he walked up.

Lucas turned his anger to his brother-in-law "Now you want to give a damn about your wife? After leaving her alone to go and relive your glory days?" he snapped.

Jason was taken aback by his tone "Excuse me?" he asked.

"What the hell kind of husband leave his wife alone when he knows that something is wrong? And don't even try to say that you didn't notice something was wrong. And you," he said turning to Alexis "was getting the man that tried to kill you back in your bed so damn much more important than helping your daughter and granddaughter? What kind of a mother choses that over her kids? What kind of a mother would rather have that then a healthy child and grandchild?" he seethed. "Sam has been wasting away and the two of you have been too busy screwing around to give a damn. But that is stopping now." He looked from mother to husband and said "When Sam is released she and Scout will both be coming home with me."

Jason shook his head "My wife and my daughter are coming home with me." He said in a firm tone.

Lucas walked up to him and got in his face "I found your wife at the bottom of your stairs in a pool of her own blood and your daughter upstairs crying her little heart out. I have no idea how long they were left like that. God knows what would have happened to them if Brad and I hadn't stopped by. But I do know that it never should have happened to them in the first place. Your wife is suffering from exhaustion and she had been diagnosed with PTSD because of the hell the people in this town have put her through!"

Jason stumbled back at his words. His heart dropped to his stomach at the thought of what his wife was suffering.

"If you had done your damn job as her husband and Scout's father, they wouldn't be here!" he yelled. "They are coming home with me so that they can get the rest and the help they need and the two of you are going to figure out where the fuck your priorities are." He turned and walked away leaving the three people that helped put Sam in the hospital reeling from his words.

* * *

Sam sat on the couch in Brad and Lucas's apartment. She had been released the afternoon she was admitted and agreed to come and stay with them. She was no longer denying that she needed help. All that did was put her in the hospital. She had made an appointment with Dr. Collins before she left for the next day. She needed to figure out how to get better. Danny would be home soon and she didn't want to alarm him. Lucas had told her that Jason and Alexis showed up at the hospital this morning but he wouldn't let them see her. Part of her was glad but the other part of her wanted her husband and her mom. She was scared of what was happening to her. But she had come to realize that she needed to do this on her own. She didn't know what was going to happen with her and Jason. She loved him more than anything but if their family wasn't going to be more of a priority for him, then there was no point in them staying married.

There was a knock at the door and Lucas went to answer it. "Seriously?" she heard him say to whoever was at the door. "You can't keep me from her. I need to see Sam." She heard Jason's voice. She closed her eyes and sighed. She knew they needed to talk and figured that it was best to get it over with.

"I can keep you from her just fine…" Lucas said.

"Lucas, it's ok." she said softly.

He turned to look at his sister and said "You don't have to deal with him."

"I need to talk to him eventually. It's best if I just do it now." She told him.

Lucas turned back around and sighed deeply. He really did not want Sam hurt anymore by him but he knew she was right. He moved out of the way and let him through.

Jason walked into the room and stopped dead when he saw her. Sam watched a look of pain come across his face. This was the first he had seen her since he left to the island. She had a bandage just above her eye. The wound had caused her to have a black eye as well. His eyes dropped to the brace the hospital gave her for her sprained wrist for a moment then back to her. Jason walked closer to her and asked "Are you ok?"

Sam and Jason both ignored the snort they heard from Lucas and Sam answered "I will be."

Jason looked around and asked "Where is Scout?"

Before Sam could answer Lucas said "She's asleep. And she is not getting woken up just for the father that finally decided he gives a shit all of a sudden." He looked to his sister and said "I'm gonna go check on her. Yell if you need me." He shot Jason a glare before going down the hall to check on his niece.

Jason sighed and shook his head. He looked back to his wife and stared at her, sitting with her feet up and looking more tired than he had ever seen her. She looked so weak and that was something that he had never seen before. Even at her worst, Sam was the strongest person he knew. "Sam, I'm so sorry." He started.

"Jason…" she said softly. "No, please. I know I screwed up. I know that I put too much on you to handle. I should have been there more and helped you more. And I promise that from now on things will be different. Just please, let me take you and Scout home." He pleaded.

Sam looked at him and saw the sincerity in his face and she knew he meant was he was saying. But that was the problem. "You know that that is the third time you have promised me things would be different between us?" she asked. "You always make me these promises and I know that you mean them when you say them. I know you want them to be true. But it's not long before someone else's promise means more and you break yours to me." She stated.

Jason stared back at her, devastated by her words because he knew they were true. "Sam…"

She shook her head "I'm not coming home. I can't. For the next two weeks at least, I am going to need a lot of help taking care of our daughter and that isn't something I can rely on you for. Between your need to be everyone else's hero and being a father to Jake, and only Jake, I have had to do it all on my own for a while now. I can't do that anymore. I need help, Jason. And I shouldn't have to ask my husband to help me take care of our kids." She said emotionally. She took a deep breath and continued "I know what Sonny and Carly mean to you. I know that Jake is your son and he needs you. But your wife and two other children need you too. Why are we less important than them? Why don't we matter to you enough like they do?"

Jason's heart broke. How could she think this? How is it possible that she thinks they mean less to him? "Sam, you and our family mean everything to me."

"I know that you love us and that we do matter, but Jason you have seen me struggling lately. And instead of helping me out you jump on a plane so damn fast to put yourself in danger." She said.

"Sam, you have never had a problem with my job before. You were used to me putting myself in those positions. What changed?" he asked softly.

"What changed?" she repeated "October 22nd, 2012 9:19 p.m." she said.

Jason jerked back as it finally clicked for him.

"That was the exact date and time that Sonny told me you weren't coming home. The exact date and time that my entire world fell apart." She said, feeling her eyes sting. "I know that your work was never a problem for me but it isn't just me anymore, Jason. We have a family. We have kids that need their father to put them first. That is something you haven't been doing for a while now."

Jason shook his head and sighed "I will, I promise…"

"Jason, your promises don't mean anything to me anymore!" she exclaimed. "and they obviously don't mean anything to you either because you always break them."

Sam sat back against the couch and closed her eyes, fighting off her tears. "Sam…" he whispered.

"I'm not safe with you anymore, Jason." She said, shattering his heart with her words. "I haven't felt safe with you for a while." She watched the heartbreaking look form in his eyes but she steeled herself against it. This was for the best. "Our marriage isn't a priority for me right now. It can't be. Right now, I need to focus on myself and getting better for the sake of our kids. They need at least one parent to be there for them." She took a deep breath and continued "And you need to decide what it is you really want."

He shook his head, letting his tears fall freely "I want you and our kids. I don't need…" she raised her hand and stopped him. "You need to take the next two weeks and really think about what it is you want to be. Things are different now, Jason. You cannot be a father to our kids and Sonny's enforcer. It has been proven too many time to count that it just can't be done. And I am not going to risk our kids that way. I thought that was something we agreed on but now it's clearly an issue."

"Sam, I am not going back to work for Sonny. This was a one-time thing…" he argued but she stopped him "A one-time thing that led to you blatantly telling me Sonny and Carly were more important to you than being there for me. You turned your back and walked out that door leaving me and your daughter all alone. That isn't someone who is putting their family first. And I am no longer settling for only being important to you when you have time for me to be important. And if that makes me selfish then I guess I'm selfish."

"It isn't selfish, Sam." He said softly.

"Clearly it is if I don't understand what Sonny and Carly mean to you." she shot back.

Jason brought his hands up and covered his face. He didn't know how they got here. They were so happy. They were finally back together after being part for so long. How could it have gotten this bad? He looked back at her and realized just how bad it was. He saw no love in his wife's eyes. They were hollow. She looked so exhausted and he couldn't believe what it had taken him to finally see it. But it was always that way. He only paid attention when he was faced with losing her. More tears filled his eyes as he took a deep breath and said "I love you. More than I have ever loved anything in this world. Everything good in my life is because of you. You and our kids are my life and I know that I have done a poor job of proving it. But I will do anything I have to to prove that to you. I don't have to decide what I want because it's you. It has always been you. I know that you need your space and I will give that to you because you deserve it. But I will never let you go, Sam. I can't. I spent too long without you and I can't do that again. I will prove what you and our life together means to me."

* * *

Let me know what you think : )


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all so much for your comments. I'm so glad that you are liking this! Here is part 2 :)

* * *

"So, as a whole, how has this past few weeks been for you?" Dr. Collins asked Sam as she sat across from him. It had been 2 weeks since Sam's accident and she started seeing him every day. The meds she had been taking worked magic for her since she started taking them. She hadn't had a hallucination or dizzy spell since she came home from the hospital. But it helped a lot that both Brad and Lucas had used some vacation time to help her out. They both took the last two weeks off to help her while she recovered from her fall. Her ribs were healing nicely. She still had her wrist brace on but she was able to take it off once in a while. Physically she was doing great. And as much as her PTSD was under control, she was still having issues.

"I have been better than I have been. But it is still a struggle." She admitted. She knew she had to be honest if she wanted to get better. No more lying.

"What is the main thing you think you are struggling with?" he asked.

Sam took a deep breath as she felt her throat go tight "I miss my husband. I miss the family nights that we had." She said.

"Have you talked to Jason since the accident?" Dr. Collins asked.

She shook her head "He comes by to see Scout when I have my appointment here. I text Lucas when I'm on my way back so he can leave." She said. She shook her head at how heartless she was. But she didn't know who else to be right now. She needed knew she always need time away from him to decide if their marriage was something she wanted to work on. She was really tired of him always saying one thig and then doing another. She thought that their time apart would have made him realize that if they were going to work, he needed different priorities. But apparently, nothing had changed. And in a way, it was getting worse. Danny had stated to notice that when he talked to his mom and dad, they were never together. She felt horrible for lying to her son but she didn't wat to ruin his fun. A part of her hoped to have this resolved by the time he got home but another sinking part of her wondered if it even could be resolved. She wanted it to be but she wasn't settling for less. Not anymore.

"Have you thought about marriage counseling?" he asked.

"A little. But Jason doesn't really believe in this stuff. For other people, yeah but not for him." she answered.

Dr. Collins nodded his head and said "That is his right but if you will never know unless you ask him."

"I don't know if I am strong enough to do that yet." She said in a small voice.

He smiled nicely at her and said "I think we both know that you are. The real question is if you want to?"

Sam sighed looking towards the wall.

"Sam, every session you have had has helped you overcome a lot. I have never had a patient accomplish as much as you have I just one week. Your determination to get better is fueled by your kids. But is that all it's fueled by?" he asks.

Sam thought about his words for a second. Was it? Was she ready to give up on her marriage after everything that she and Jason had been through?

* * *

Jason sat on the couch in the living room of the penthouse. It was so damn quiet. He wasn't used to the place being quiet. He hated the silence that met him every time he walked through the door. He hadn't been able to sleep at all since Sam had left. Every time he tried, he always dreamt of her and the look on her face when she told him she wasn't safe with him anymore. He closed his eyes and sighed at the pain that went through him. He went and saw Scout every day while Sam was at her appointment with Dr. Collins. The part that killed him the most was when he had to leave. It hurt like hell walking out the door and leaving both Scout and Sam behind but he knew he deserved it. He knew Sam wasn't doing this to hurt him, he was the one that had done the hurting. Scout needed her mom more that she needed her dad but it didn't mean it wasn't hard as hell to leave every time.

He tried every day to ask about Sam but Lucas wasn't budging. He had softened a little but not much. He was still upset with Jason for the hurt he had caused his sister and Jason understood that. He had been in that position before. But it was driving him crazy that he didn't know how Sam was doing with everything. He had no clue if she was better or worse. Were her meds helping her? Was she getting enough sleep now?

Jason laid his head in his hands. Why did he always do this? Why did he always realize things too late? And he didn't know if Sam was going to give him another chance. But he wasn't going to let that stop him from doing everything he could to get one. He wasn't letting Sam go without one hell of a fight. And he knew of a way to make this all better. He just hoped like hell Sam would let him.

A knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts and he went to answer the door. "Hey." Sonny said. "Hey." Jason retorted as he moved to let him in. "Have you heard from her yet?" Sonny asked.

Jason shook his head "No. I just got back about an hour ago from visiting Scout."

"Have you tried calling her?" he asked.

Jason shook his head "I don't want to push her further away. She asked for time and I need to give her that no matter how much it kills me." He walked back over to the couch and sat down. He put his head in his hands and sighed.

"Jason, the only way you guys are going to get over this is if you talk to each other. Making excuses is going to help." Sonny told his friend.

"Sam is on the edge, Sonny. If do or say something wrong then I will lose her and I can't do that. I won't survive it this time." Jason got up from the couch and walked around it "Little by little everything is coming back to me. When I first got my memory back pieces were missing. Over the past year I remember everything that happened the summer Sam and I split up for good. I remember how she spiraled out of control all because of me and what I did to her. It hurt like hell watching that. It hurt even worse when I realized it was really over between us and I had lost the best thing that had ever happened to me. Look at everything that happened after Sam and I broke up." he looked to Sonny "My life became a living hell. I lost Emily. My mom didn't want anything to do with me and she became an alcoholic. Michael was shot. I had to take over the business and thing between you, Carly and myself were more screwed up then they had ever been. I kept justifying making stupid choices that only led to more problems. After Kate was shot, it became more than clear to me why my life was so messed up. Sam was everything to me. She was the one I talked to when it got to be too much. She was the one that gave me a reason to live when we thought Michael was dead. She was never afraid to call me on my bullshit. For the first time in my life I had someone that I didn't have to hide a part of myself from. Sam is the only woman that has ever accepted me for who I really am. She never made me feel like a cold-blooded killer. And when I lost her, I lost all reason. I convinced myself that Liz and Jake were enough but no one and nothing will ever come close to what my life is with Sam. There is no life for me without her. And because I once again made a stupid mistake, I may have lost her for good."

Sonny stood from the couch and walked over to him "I above anyone knows what it is like to lose the one thing that seems like it keeps you sane. Without Carly in my life I do the stupidest things. It took me years to figure out what you just did. Do not waste time like Carly and I did just because you think Sam won't give you another chance. The only way you are going to get your life back is if you fight like hell for it."

* * *

Sam sat on the park bench with Scout in her stroller next to her. She was asleep but if was such a nice day, Sam really wanted to get her and her daughter some fresh air. When she got back from her session with Dr. Collins, she talked to both Lucas and Brad about it. A part of her did it because she knew Lucas wouldn't want Sam to entertain the idea of trying to work things out with Jason. But she got a real shock when they both told her she should maybe think about it. Lucas was still upset with Jason but he knew how much Jason and Sam loved each other. He reminded her that a marriage is work. It isn't easy at times and it can be downright difficult. But it was the hard times that made a marriage worth having.

Sam looked down at her little girl and her mind went to Danny and Jake. They had waited so long for the family they had now. They had been so blessed to have this when there was a time she didn't think they ever would. She closed her eyes and sighed. Since starting her sessions with Dr. Collins, she was face with the question of if she was pushing Jason away because of what happened or if she was afraid of losing him again. Yes, she was upset that Jason had left the way he did but she shouldn't be running from him. She never ran from him. But she was so afraid of him wanting to go back to work for Sonny. She never had this fear before. She always accepted his choice but when she realized he wasn't as invincible as she always thought he was, things were different. But she had never let fear drive her life before so why was she starting now?

"Sam?"

She looked over and saw Carly standing there. She had not seen her in a while. Sam knew she knew what was going on by the soft hesitant look Carly was giving her. She smiled at the once bane of her existence turned friend. "Hey" Sam said. Carly walked closer and her eyes went to Scout. She bent down and softly ran her fingers over the baby's head and smiled. She stood back up and looked over to Sam "How…how are you doing?" she asked. Sam took a deep breath and said "Better. It gets easier every day but it is still a challenge. I know it's going to take some time."

There was a small silence before Carly rushed "Listen Sam, I'm sorry if what happened with Sonny and I…"

Sam shook her head and stopped her "I'm not mad at you or Sonny. This is not your fault. You didn't ask Jason to drop everything and run to your rescue. He did that all on his own." Sam sighed and ran her fingers through her hair "And to be honest, I'm not even sure I'm that made at Jason for that either."

Carly narrowed her eyes in confusion and then walked over and sat beside Sam on the bench "Alright. Talk to me. What is going on? What happened?"

"Don't get me wrong. I am plenty upset at him for it. He should have handled it better. But I think if that was really the problem I would have just booted him to the couch for a while. I more afraid that our life together now isn't enough for him." she said.

"What are you talking about? The life you have now is all Jason has ever dreamed of." Carly assured her.

"Is it? You know as well as I do that Jason thrived on being an adrenaline junkie. I did too that was why we worked so well. But things are different now. We have kinds and I thought Jason felt the same way but what if he misses his old life? What if we aren't enough for him? I lost him for two years and the only reason I survived was because of Danny. But I don't think I could survive losing him again." Sam said, looking at her daughter.

"Sam, it wasn't the danger you both craved that kept you together. It was the love you have for each other. Jason is not the same person anymore. You and the kids give him everything he needs to feel that rush. He made a stupid choice and he should have handled it better than he did but you shouldn't walk away from 13 years of love because of one stupid mistake. Jason has no desire to go back and work for Sonny and you know that. You are letting your fear of losing him again get in the way of living the life you and Jason have always wanted. Trust me, I know what that feels like. In the end, it isn't worth it. You know mine and Sonny's history. Look at all the time we waisted. If we had just talked to each other and laid it all out we would have saved each other a lot of heartbreak." Carly reached over and grabbed her hand "You and Jason have been through too much. You have fought like hell to get each other back. Don't lose him now just because you afraid you might lose him later. You never gave up on him when you thought he was gone, don't do it now."

Sam swiped at her cheeks as she felt the tears fall. She was so torn but she knew what Carly was saying was true. You can't live your life in fear. She knew that. She just didn't know how to let it go.

* * *

Jason sat at the kitchen table looking down at his phone. He was never one to take pictures but since Scout's birth, he couldn't seem to go a day without snapping a few. Especially when Sam was holding her. His wife was the most beautiful woman in the world but seeing her hold their daughter, something he had dreamed about when she was pregnant with Lila, was amazing. He shook his head and closed his eyes. This could not be the end for them. he wasn't going to let it. No matter what it took, no matter how long it took he wasn't giving up on her or them.

Jake was worried. Since his accident, he had come to love Sam and she was a permanent fixture in his life. He hadn't seen Sam in over a week and even though he was just a kid he still knew something was wrong. Jason had to tell him that he and Sam were just living apart for a while. He didn't understand. All he knew was that the woman who had become a second mother to him wasn't around like she used to be. He kept asking when she was coming home and he didn't know what to tell him.

Danny would be coming home soon and he was dreading having to tell his son what was going on. Danny had been through so much in his life. He didn't want Danny to ever go through what Sonny and Carly's kids did because their parents couldn't work things out. He couldn't let that happen to Danny and Scout.

He sighed and got up from the table. After Sonny let Jason had decided to take his advice and try and talk to Sam. But he knew how stubborn his wife was. He knew that when she dug her heels in about something it was near impossible to get her to change her mind. But he also knew that she loved him. Same loved him more that anyone ever had. He needed to remind her of that. He just hoped like hell that she would give him the chance to do it.

He put his phone back in his pocket a second before he heard the click of the front door open and close. His could hear his heart beat in his ears. He moved to the entry way of the kitchen and stopped dead. Sam was setting her keys on the desk and her eyes moved to the couch. He hadn't seen her in 2 weeks and that was the longest he had gone without seeing her since he had come home. Even before he knew he was Jason Morgan. She looked better that the last time he had seen her. She didn't have the dark circles under her eyes. She was so skinny the last time he saw her but it looked like she had gained more weight. The bandage above her eye was gone and it looked like her cut had healed.

She must have saw him out of the corner of her eye because her head turned to him. His saw her beautiful face for the first time in over two weeks and his heart felt ready to burst. But the guarded look on her face hurt. Almost as if she were afraid. She turned to face him and took a step closer to him. He watched her square she shoulders and take a deep breath "We need to talk."

* * *

Let me know what you think :)


	3. Chapter 3

Ok so here is the final part! I think I'm rusty in writing smut but I hope you enjoy it anyway :)

* * *

Jason watched her stand there and wasn't sure how he should feel. He was so glad to see her but the way she said that scared him. He nodded his head and said "Yeah, we do."

Sam looked at her husband and could feel the pain in her heart. He looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep in weeks. She could tell from the couch that he had been sleeping on it instead of their bed. Seeing him for the first time in so long made the hurt she felt from missing him intensify. She wanted nothing more than to run to him and feel his arms around her. But she had to steel herself from those feelings. They needed to talk if things were going to get better.

"How are you doing?" she heard him ask.

Sam brought her hands in front of her and fidgeted with her fingers "Good. The medicine that they have me on has helped a lot. I haven't had any…issues since taking it."

"And your sessions with Dr. Collins?" he asked.

"He thinks I have improved enough that I don't have to see him every day now. He still wants to see me once a week though. make sure I talk out my concerns." She answered.

Jason felt a sharp pain in his heart. There was a time when it what him that she talked to. He took a deep breath and decided that he wasn't going to waste any more time. "I know that you have every right to not forgive me. I left you alone when you needed me. I knew you had been acting different but I just assumed that if something was wrong that you would come to me and I shouldn't have done that. I should have paid better attention and I'm sorry that I didn't. There is no excuse for that, I know it but Sam I need you to believe me when I say that I do not want to go back to work for Sonny. It was stupid of me to take off the way I did and I know that. But it wasn't because I wanted some reminder of my old life. I was really scared that this guy was going to hurt them but I know now that I should have handled it different…"

"I'm not mad about you wanting to save Sonny or Carly. When you left yes it was but that was because I wasn't thinking clearly. I wasn't expressing what I was really upset about." She said.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

She took a deep shuddering breath and said "I'm scared. I'm scared that you do really want to be back in the business. It was who you were for so long. And after living without you because of it, I can't go back to being the supportive wife whose husband risks his life just by walking out of the front door. I'm scared that you're saying all the right things now but what you really want is our old life back." She stopped as the tears started to form in her eyes "I'm scared we're forcing something that isn't meant to be." She finished.

Jason took a step closer to her and said "What?"

"What if you were meant to stay Jake Doe? There had to have been a reason you lost your memory of our life together. What if it was because you were meant to have the life you had with Elizabeth?"

Jason shook his head "No way in hell. You want a reason for why I lost my memories of you? So when I got them back I would know what I lived without. When I woke up after I was shot that night, the first thing I thought of was you and Danny. And every single moment after that that I was conscious, all I thought of was you and Danny." He said. He moved closer to her and continued "Hoping that you both were ok. Wondering if Danny was crawling yet. Was he walking yet. Were you looking for me. Had you given up on me thinking I wasn't coming home. Praying like hell that you hadn't. I had no idea where I was or how long I had been gone. All I knew was that I was away from you and that I had to get back."

He was now standing in front of her. Sam felt his hand on her cheek and that as when she realized there were tears streaming down her face. "I finally found my way back to you, Sam. I don't care how long it took or the things that stood in our way. I came back to you because we are meant to be together. And there is not a chance in hell that I am letting you go. Not now and not ever." He said firmly.

Before she had the chance to respond, his lips came down on hers.

Sam sobbed out a breath. It had been so long since she had felt this caress. She had missed him so much. The pain in her heart that she felt at not having him with her the last few weeks started to deteriorate as the familiar feelings coursed through her body. Jason ran his tongue along the outer seem of her bottom lip making her gasp and allowing him in.

Jason snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her flush against him as his other hand slipped into her hair. He groaned at the feel of her against him.

Sam's hands gripped his shirt in her hands as Jason deepened the kiss. His hand at her waist slid up her back and under her shirt. The feel of his hand on her bare back sent shivers through her. The next thing she knew, she was lifted and her legs automatically wrapped around his waist. Her arms went around the back of his neck and held on to him as he moved. She a so lost in his kiss and arms she didn't realize they were in their bedroom until he laid her out of the bed. He came over her but pulled back from the kiss and looked down at her.

Sam opened her eyes and looked up at the man she loved more than anything. The love and heat she saw in his eyes had her body on the edge with anticipation. She watched as he sat up on his knees and reached for the collar of his shirt. Their eyes never left each other as the material slipped from his head and threw it aside. She felt the skin go hot at the sight of her husband bare torso. He leaned back over her and sealed his lips over hers. Sam parted her legs and allowed him to settle between them. A bolt of desire went through her when she felt his hardness against her. It had been so long and her body was so primed she knew if he put so much as an ounce of pressure on her she wouldn't last.

Jason couldn't take it. He had missed the feel of her so much that he knew he wasn't going to be able to last. His hands went to the hem of her shirt at the same time her reached for his jeans. Clothes were ripped and torn in their heated frenzy. Finally free of all restrictions, Jason pulled back from their kiss and started down at his wife. Her hair was splayed out over their comforter, her lips were swollen from their kiss and her ample chest rose and fell with her sharp breath. The word beautiful simply didn't do her justice.

She reached her hand up and softly touched his face watching the emotions cross his face. At that moment, she couldn't for the life of her remember why they had been apart. All that mattered to her was she was in his arms again. She brought his face back down and kissed him with all her love and desire for him. She moaned when she felt his hard cock at her entrance and broke the kiss on a gasp when he thrust inside her. Her head fell back as the pleasure shook her. Jason's lips skimmed across her jaw down to her neck. He pulled back and thrust more of himself inside her making her cry out. Jason groaned at the tight feel of her griping him. It had been too long for the both of them that he knew this wouldn't last long. It felt too good.

His hips continued to move against hers as Sam wrapped her legs around his hips, allowing him in deeper. "Jason…" she gasped, digging her nails into his shoulders.

"I missed you" he whispered against her skin, "I missed you so much."

Her breath caught at his admission. Tears welled in her eye as she lifted her hands from his shoulders and placed them on the sides of his face bringing his lip to hers "I missed you, too." She said against them before pressing her lips to his in a sweet kiss.

Jason could feel her get tighter around him, telling him she was close. He took the kiss deeper and thrust his tongue in time with his hips. Sam's arms wound around his back and dug her short nails in the hard muscle. Jason growled into the kiss and started to thrust a little harder. Sam's back arched at the pleasure mounting inside her. It was too sweet.

Jason grabbed the back of one thigh wrapped around his waist and pushed it higher towards her chest. The angle pushed him deeper and allowed his pelvis to brush against her clit with every thrust. His hips started to move faster as her grip on him became like a vice. With one final thrust, both their bodies locked as their release tore through them. Jason broke the kiss and buried his face into her neck groaning her name as Sam cried out his.

Jason allowed himself to collapse on top of her for a second before rolling to his side, pulled her with him and into his arms. They both stayed silent as their breaths started to even out and their bodies cool. Jason closed his eyes when he felt Sam's hand on his chest softly caressing him. He reached his hand out and lifted her face to look at him. He wanted to leap with joy when he saw no regret or doubt in her eyes. He leaned down and kissed her long, slow and deep. When he pulled back he rested his forehead to hers "I love you." he watched the small smile form on her lips and her eyes go glossy. "I love you, too." She said back. He sighed and pulled her closer to him. His eyes slid closed as he felt himself clam for the first time in two weeks. The last thing he remembered was the feel of Sam's hand moving up and down his back before he slipped into sleep.

* * *

Sam started up at his sleeping face, unable to take her eyes off him. She knew by the dark circles under his eyes he hadn't been sleeping well. And from the pillow and blanket on the couch, she figured he hadn't been sleeping in their bed either. When she walked in earlier, his face had looked so worn and tired. She felt terrible for being the reason. But she knew the time apart was needed. Not just for him but for her as well. He may not have had doubts but she did. And as much as she hated to admit that, she had to confront it. She thought back to what Jason has said earlier and smiled. It felt nice to know that he missed her when he was taken from her. Her fear of thinking they didn't truly belong together was real. They had to overcome so much, she honestly wondered if it was because they just weren't meant to me.

She reached up and softly stroked his cheek with her finger tips. Even in his subconscious he leaned into her touch. She knew that he loved her and never doubted that but now she knew that they were really meant to be together. She had been looking at it all wrong. They didn't lose each other because they were meant to. They kept being torn apart to prove just how strong they really were. It was why they always found their way back together. Against all odds somehow, they always found their way back. And this time was no different.

Sam knew that their marriage wouldn't always be easy. They were going to argue and fight. But know she knew that when it happened, not to give up. Their love was strong enough to make it through anything.

She leaned forward and softly kissed his lips before slowly detangling herself from him. He needed his rest and she had s few things to take care of. She collected her clothing and slipped out of the room to dress. Once she did she pulled out her phone and called her brother "Hey, it's me. I need a favor…"

* * *

Jason slowly started to come awake. He reached for Sam before he opened his eyes and found the spot next to him empty and cold. She hadn't been there in a while. "Sam?" he called. He looked around and found her clothes gone and he felt the panic rise inside him. He shot out of bed and put on his clothes before running down the stairs. When he hit the bottom step he heard a noise from the kitchen and that what when he could smell the chicken. He rushed in to the other room but stopped dead in the entry way. Sam was standing at the stove with a spoon stirring something in a pot. But what caught his breath was their daughter in her arms. They were both here. They were both home.

Sensing someone behind her, Sam turned around and saw his standing there. She smiled softly at his before hoisting Scout higher on her hip "Look who's finally awake, Scout." She said as she walked closer to him "Look, who's that?" she said to her baby girl. Scout finally caught sight of her daddy and the 4-month-old launched herself a him. Jason caught his daughter in his arms and held her close. He pressed a kiss to her head and ran his hand along her back.

Sam smiled at the sight before her. She couldn't describe the feeling of seeing them together again. She knew they spent time together every day but it was different. Jason looked to Sam and saw the look of pure love on her face. He walked the remaining distance between them and slipped his free arm around her, pulling her forward into a kiss.

Sam sighed into the kiss and relaxed against him. it felt so good to be home. She was grateful for her brother and Brad and the help they had given her but to be home and have her family back together meant everything to her. She pulled back from the kiss and said "Did you sleep good?"

Jason reached up and pushed a piece of hair off her forehead "Better than I have in two weeks."

Sam smirked and said "The couch is comfy but not for two straight weeks. You should have slept in bed." She pushed out of his arms and walked back to the stove. "It wouldn't have done any good. I just couldn't shut my mind off. I kept playing everything over in my head. Trying to come up with a way to talk to you and make you want to come home." He said.

Sam put the top back of the pot of pasta and turned back to him "I did want to. From the start but I knew that if I came back it would be like it always was. It would get swept under the rug and we would never talk about it. I don't want to be like that this time. If we have a problem I want us to talk not take off and put distance between us." She said walking over to him.

Jason nodded his head "I agree. Being married to me has never been easy and I know I can be difficult to talk to when things get rough. But I promise that I am never going to let things get that bad between us ever again. These passed too week were worse than the two years we spent apart. And I think I have a way of making sure it never happens again." He said.

Sam watched him pull out his phone and swipe for a few second before handing it to her. Sam looked at the hone and saw a picture of a beautiful house. It looked as if it was made of stone with white trimming. It has a spacious front porch off to the side of the front door. She scrolled down and saw the it had a huge back yard with a pool and plenty of space for a football game to take place. "You want us to move into a house?" she asked him.

"Yeah. But look at the location." He urged.

Sam looked below the picture to see Aroura, New York. Shock tore through her and her gaze snapped back to his. "We have lived in this town since knowing each other and look at what it has gotten us. I love this town, Sam. I do. Everything good in my life had come from this town. Michael, You, our kids. But this place is poison. It always has been. We were going to leave before and I think it was a mistake that we didn't. If we had, none of this would have happened. You would have given birth to our daughter in a hospital instead of being pushed off a bridge and left out in the freezing could for 24 hours. You wouldn't be dealing with all that you have for the past few months." He looked down at his little girl with her head on his chest and sighed "I don't want our kids growing up the way that Michael, Morgan and Kristina did. I may be out of the business but the business isn't out of Port Charles. No one in this town is ever truly safe. Sonny has been talking about getting out but I know better. It isn't going to happen. and I want our family out of here before the next war starts. And we both know that one eventually will. It the way it works in this town."

Sam opened her mouth to say something but she couldn't find the words. She finally walked over to the kitchen table and sat down. "Are you sure about this? Sonny and Carly are here. Your family is here. And what about Jake?" she asked.

"We wouldn't be moving across country. Aurora is only 2 hours away. We can work out another custody agreement with Elizabeth. Sonny and Carly are my friends so the will understand. If they don't then tough. And my family is you Sam. It has been since the day I met you. My mom and Michael will understand that I want to keep my family safe. I know they will. I know that you are close with your sisters but like I said, its only two hours away. And it's closer to Molly when she's in school. Hell, she could probably live with us." He smiled. He walked over and sat down in the chair next to hers "I just want us to be safe and happy. Living here, that's not a possibility for long. After everything we have been through it is time that we do what we want and not think about how it is going to affect everyone else around us."

Sam looked at him and saw the desperation on his face. He really wanted to do this and to be honest, she did too. Port Charles could be a horrible place to live. She had never given much thought to the violence that surrounds this town but after losing Jason for so long and Julian's mob family putting her and her daughter in danger, things changed. Her relationship with Alexis had changed as well. Her determination to be with Julian was sickening. Sam couldn't trust her mom anymore. And maybe the distance would be good. If Alexis felt all she needed was Julian then that was all she would get. Jason was right. They had to stop living for what everyone else thought. She looked at her daughter who had fallen asleep on the comfort of her daddy's chest. Scout and Danny deserved to live in a town when they wouldn't have to dodge bullets and kidnappings. She looked back down to the phone and said "The house is beautiful. I think Danny and Scout would love to grow up in a house like this."

She lifted her gaze to his and saw he was smiling. "So, we're moving?" he asked.

Sam smiled back to him and answered "We're moving."

He leaned forward, careful not to wake Scout, and pressed his lips to hers and a sweet kiss. It was the promise of new beginning for them. One they both welcomed after the hell they had been put through. The Morgans were finally free.

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Tell me what you think :)


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